The prophets (may peace be upon them) were not immune to grief, sorrow and anxiety:
- The Prophet ﷺ acknowledged and addressed psychological challenges and lay the groundwork for generations of Muslims to recognize and deal with them.
- While the prophets were the best of people, they, too, experienced grief, sorrow and anxiety in their lifetimes.
- Prophet ﷺ himself experienced grief so intense after the passing of his beloved wife Khadijah (R.A.) and his uncle, Abu Talib, paired with the social and economic boycott of Mulims in Makkah, that the entire year was coined The Year of Sorrow.
- Prophet Yaqub (A.S.) suffered prolonged period of grief such that his eyesight weakened, some scholars even say to the point of blindness –
“And he turned away from them and said: “Alas, my grief for Yusuf (Joseph)!” And he lost his sight because of the sorrow that he was suppressing.” – (Surah Yusuf, Ayah 84)
- In the Quran, Allah mentions the importance of managing grief and coping with stress. The Prophet ﷺ experienced a decline in his health as he was affected by concern for those who opposed Islam in Makkah and so, Allah revealed the ayah:
“Perhaps, you, would kill yourself (O Muhammad SAW) in grief, over their footsteps (for their turning away from you), because they believe not in this narration (the Quran).” – (Surah Kahf, Ayah 7)
How the Quran and Sunnah teach us to deal with grief:
- Suffering can be a blessing from Allah with many benefits:
Hadith 1: Abu Huraira reported: the Prophet ﷺ said, “If Allah wills good for someone, He afflicts him with trials.”
- This cognitive reframing reduces the stigma associated with suffering:
Hadith 2: Suhayb ibn Sinān Ar-Rūmi (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet ﷺ said: “How wonderful the affair of the believer is! Indeed, all of his affairs are good for him. This is for no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is grateful to Allah, which is good for him. And if something bad happens to him, he has patience, which is good for him.”
- The Prophet ﷺ also taught us the importance of embracing and acknowledging our emotions even as he highlighted the importance of being careful with our words: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbD-Cez4EQU
Hadith 3: We went with The Prophet ﷺ to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). The Prophet ﷺ took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif’s house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of The Prophet ﷺ started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!” He said, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.” Then he wept more and said, “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.”
- Our focus should be on coming to terms with Allah’s will, that contentment itself can make space for healing.
Practical advice for dealing with emotions:
- There is situation specific advice in the sunnah for regulating emotions:Hadith 4: The Prophet ﷺ said to us, “If one of you is angry while he is standing, let him sit down so his anger will leave him; otherwise, let him lie down.”
- The Prophet ﷺ also taught us the importance of holistic self-care including healthy eating and sleeping and moderation in everything:
Hadith 5: Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “O `Abdullah! Have I not been formed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?” I said, “Yes, O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)!” He said, “Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them (the fast) at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you.”
- Do not suffer in silence, but look for solutions. Aisha (RA) was from the earliest Muslims to diagnose and treat illnesses with herbal remedies.
Hadith 6: Abu Darda reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Allah sent down the disease and the cure, and for every disease he made a cure. Seek treatment, but do not seek treatment by the unlawful.”
- She would often prepare Talbeenah, a soup made of barley, milk and honey to treat those who were experiencing anxiety, depression and even bereavement induced psychosis. The hadith on Talbeenah is proof that physical remedies can be used to treat emotional ailments.
Hadith 7: It was narrated from Aishah, the wife of The Prophet ﷺ, that if a member of her family died, the women would gather together, then they would depart, except her own relatives and close friends. She would order that a pot of talbeenah be cooked, then some thareed would be made and the talbeenah would be poured over it. Then she would say: Eat some of it, for I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: “Talbeenah soothes the heart of the sick person, and it takes away some of the grief.”
- We are taught to reduce anxiety through dhikr and prayer:
Seek help in patience and prayer (Surah Baqarah, Ayah 45)
Hadith 8: It is also said that whenever an event of difficulty or hardship comes to the Prophet ﷺ, he would ask Bilal RA to call the adhan by saying, “Bilal, relieve and soothe us through salah (prayer).” – Stories of the Sahabah
- The Prophet ﷺ would recite the Quran alone, pausing in between each of the verses in order to internalize the meanings within it because the Quran speaks of peace.
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest (Surah Ra’ad, Ayah 28)
- The sunnah morning and evening dua routines include duas about anxiety and worry:
اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّي أَعْوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَـمِّ وَ الْحُـزْنِ، والعًجْـزِ والكَسَلِ والبُخْـلِ والجُـبْنِ، وضَلْـعِ الـدَّيْنِ وغَلَبَـةِ الرِّجال
“O Allah, I seek refuge in You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by men.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbD-Cez4EQU
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbD-Cez4EQU
- Our trials are temporary, our deeds are for eternity:
- Every time that Allah tests us is an opportunity for us to prove ourselves as persevering and patient believers.
- Allah has clearly prohibited suicide in the Quran:
- And do not kill (each other or) yourselves. Surely Allah is ever Merciful to you. (Surah Nisa, Ayah 29)
- In the above ayah, Allah makes it clear that his mercy takes over any problem we might have.
- Even when we have major issues, we have to thank Allah for what we have, make effort on our own part and trust Allah to do the rest.
And He gave you of all that you asked for, and if you count the Blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them. Verily! Man is indeed an extreme wrong-doer. (Surah Ibrahim, Ayah 34)
- If the world was free of problems, Paradise would lose its value, only in Paradise will we have everything that our soul desires.
- To be patient means to have conviction and to understand the plan of Allah. Part of sabr (patience) is to surrender to the decree of Allah and understand the limitations of our own capacities.
We will certainly test you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and earnings; but give glad tidings to the persevering and patient. (Surah Baqarah, Ayah 155)
- Allah describes those who are truly patient even further:
Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.” (Surah Baqarah, Ayah 156)
- Allah reminds us that to be blessed, we have to think about where we came from and where we are headed. If we live our lives in accordance with Allah and seek forgiveness for our shortcomings, we will earn His Mercy.
Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbD-Cez4EQU
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